Various Writing

REVIEW: DVD Release: Black Lightning www.subtitledonline.com 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 6:34:37 PM

 

Black Lightning is your 'typical' story of an ordinary boy, who is given an incredible flying car for his birthday. He then uses the car to become rich in order to win the heart of a girl, but becomes embroiled in a fiendish plot which could end up destroying Moscow!
 
Everything changes for Dima when he is given an old Volka car for his birthday. Ashamed at first, he may have been dreaming of a Mercedes-Benz, but never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined taking possession of the incredible car which will change his life completely.....
 
 
 
 

 
Black Lightning is your 'typical' story of an ordinary boy, 
who is given an incredible flying car for his birthday. He then uses the car to become rich in order to win the heart of a girl, but becomes embroiled in a fiendish plot which could end up destroying Moscow
!
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A Festival To Forget 

Friday, August 06, 2010 9:33:18 PM

A FESTIVAL TO FORGET // THE 405 FEATURE

The events at Latitude and T in the Park have given a sharp focus to the seemingly universal myopia which inflicts us when we think about festivals. I have been attending music festivals around the UK for almost 20 years and although I have never seen the kind of violence attributed to the aforementioned events, considering the factors involved in ‘enjoying’ the festival experience that is an absolute miracle. ‘What factors’ you may ask? Alcohol and drugs are the factors I am referring to.


 

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Opportunity Lost 

Thursday, August 05, 2010 9:12:00 PM

 

OPPORTUNITY LOST // THE 405 FEATURE
Written by The 405 Guest Writer

A large drinks company which supports live music across the UK has re-launched its sponsored night in Glasgow with much fanfare this week claiming to have ‘a new music concept’. This new music concept has been driven on behalf of the drinks company by a marketing company. The marketing company have based their new music concept around a survey of one hundred 18-34 years olds.
 

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Mulan 

Wednesday, July 21, 2010 7:00:35 PM

Mulan is based on the famous fable of Hua Mulan, a general who led the Wei dynasty army to victory over raiding northern forces sometime around the 4th century. Director Jingle Ma has tackled this kind of historical story before, most recently in The Assassins Blade, which was also inspired by a legend from Chinese history.

 

 

 

 


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Force Of Five - Review 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 9:44:52 PM

From the producers of Ong Bak, Ong Bak 2 and Warrior King comes Force Of Five, a vehicle for the ‘new generation’ of Thai martial arts heroes.

 

Force Of Five is the story of five Thai children, the youngest of the which, Wun, has a heart condition and is awaiting a transplant. When Wun gets sick, he is lucky that a donor is ready and prepared for a transplant, but disaster strikes in the form of a terrorist organisation who take over the hospital where the donor heart is being dispatched from.

The remaining four teenagers, including Wun’s older brother Wut, take it upon themselves to infiltrate the hospital, get past the terrorists and retrieve the donor heart before the transplant window closes. Not that these are any run of the mill, ordinary children. Wun, Kat and Pong all live in a Muay Thai boxing school and are raised by their ’Teacher’. Jib makes up the team despite running with a rival gang, but she is also well versed in the martial arts…

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Harpoon - DVD Review 

Monday, July 19, 2010 10:53:42 PM

 

Harpoon is Iceland’s first foray into the world of slasher/horror, with enough obvious nods to a certain 70s horror classic to explain its subtitle ‘Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre’.

The set up is simple, and very much a genre standard. A disparate group of people are taken from their natural surroundings, placed in jeopardy, with a group of ‘crazies’, and there you have it - blood and carnage! In this case, we have a multi-national tourist party comprising individuals and small groups who have never met before. They are all visiting Reykjavik, and decide to go on a whale watching trip, but disaster strikes while at sea, and with the captain of the tour ship wounded, the group are forced to take refuge on an unused whaling ship crewed by a family who bear a grudge for the loss of the whaling industry, and hold the international community squarely to blame…

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The Assasins Blade Review

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

REVIEW: DVD Release: The Assassin’s Blade

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

Release date: 3rd May 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 102 mins
Director: Jingle Ma
Starring: Charlene Choi, Chun Wu, Ge Hu
Genre: Martial Arts/Action
Studio: Metrodome
Format: DVD
Country: Hong Kong



As with all great love stories the premise is simple; will the lovers overcome the many perceived and actual barriers in order to consummate their love? Will theirs be a tragic tale of what might have been? Will you care that you have watched this story a thousand times before?

Yanzhi (Charlene Choi) is hidden in a martial arts school disguised as a male student where she, literally, meets the boy of her dreams, Liang (Chun Wu). They fall in love but their plans for happiness are scuppered when Yanzhi’s parents arrange a marriage with her friend Ma (Ge Hu), who has become a powerful local diplomat, as well as possessive to murderous degrees…


The first half of the film displays a lightness of touch and sure footedness that is sometimes lacking with Asian films in this genre. Where The Assassins Blade is successful is that the comedy moments are actualized by fun characters, and the youth and verve of the main protagonists lends itself well to these slighter moments. There are many examples of preposterous comedy in other martial arts movies, as otherwise violent or wise characters slip into ‘Clouseau-esque’ moments of madcap mayhem. Choi, one half of Cantonese pop group Twins, and Wu, starring in his first feature, play characters where the comedy is entirely believable, and a lot of credit must go to the script writer and director Jingle Ma (Tokyo raiders, Playboy Cops) for ensuring that these comedy moments never descend into farce.

Kudos also has to go to Jingle Ma for the look of the film, in which he has undertaken the role of cinematographer, as well as director. We sometimes take for granted great looking period genre films such as The Assassin’s Blade, which is entirely unfair. The film is a visual treat, and unlike Zhang Yimou’s films Crouching Tiger or Hero, where bold primary colours are used as characters in their own right, the broad pallet of colours used in The Assassin’s Blade act as beautiful canvases. An example of this can be witnessed during Yanzhi’s dream sequence, where primary colours are avoided, and fluidly beautiful turquoises are mixed with hues of green and blue to create stunningly ethereal vistas. The fight scene during the final third of the film, where Liang fights at night under a canopy of red lanterns is exquisite. Watch in awe as every colour apart from the red lanterns overhead appear to morph into different shades of blue.

The action sequences by Siu-Tung Ching (Hero, Curse Of The Golden Flower) are beautifully staged and choreographed. There is a stunning mixture of slow motion/wire techniques which are at once balletic and violent. Apart from being well staged, there are some wonderfully original perspectives on show here with fantastic low angled camera shots pulling vertically upwards as the actors perform leg sweeps, which really bring the viewer into the midst of the action. The editing is sharp and on the money but, thankfully, we are treated to plenty of mid shots leaving the whole fight visible, and avoiding jump cuts which heighten the kinetic effect but lose track of movement.

An added bonus is the music, which successfully soundtracks the entire movie; a joyous mixture of classical instruments with some contemporary noises subtly thrown in to up the pace and add to the tension in parts. What we should be looking at here is a quite brilliant, historical, martial arts/romance story. Unfortunately, we are not.

What we do have is a film entirely let down by the complete lack of an original script, which quite blatantly steals wholesale story ideas from Romeo & Juliet and House Of Flying Daggers. It really is a shame because the component parts are quite lovingly and skilfully put together. The acting is actually very good, particularly Choi and Wu, who are a winning couple. You would really route for Yanzhi and Liang to succeed if you didn’t know exactly what was going to happen at the end. It also has to be said that the main plot device which puts Yanzhi in contact with Liang is completely preposterous because Charlene Choi is blessed with one of the most feminine and beautiful faces to grace the screen in a very long time.


The Assassins Blade takes the main premise far too seriously, and there are plot holes so massive you could hide the Greek national debt inside them. A quite beautiful failure. SM

High Lane Review

REVIEW: DVD Release: High Lane




















 

 


 

Release date: 17th May 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 81 mins
Director: Abel Ferry
Starring: Fanny Valette, Johan Libéreau, Raphaël Lenglet, Nicolas Giraud, Maud Wyler
Genre: Action/Adventure/Thriller
Studio: Optimum
Format: DVD
Country: France


From the beginning of High Lane, it’s clear there is no new ground being broken. This is very much genre fare, but it is a periodically exhilarating thrill ride none-the-less.

The story is simple: five attractive young French twenty-something’s go climbing in a remote part of Croatia. The path they are climbing is dangerous and closed off to visitors, but they continue anyway, and, as they do, they inevitably fall foul of various elements. You will recognise each and every character here: the member of the group who puts them in peril, the jealous boyfriend, and the ex-boyfriend who still has feelings for the central character.

When their environment turns against them, the group’s members then turn on each other. At this point, the body count starts to rise. Is there someone or something stalking them as they climb?


The storyline and actual plot devices are borrowed wholesale from other obvious films in this genre, and viewers will recognise elements from Deliverance to The Descent and everything in between, but none of that really matters. High Lane isn’t The White Ribbon. It’s good at what it does, and from the get go, you are sucked into the world surrounding the five beautiful soon-to-be victims.

Johan Liberau is perfect as Loic, the jealous, weedy boyfriend, who is struck by vertigo during the climb. He is a sickly presence who will garner your sympathy while all the time leaving alarm bells ringing. Nicolas Giraud is also bang on the money as Fred, the heroic expedition leader who is all testosterone and big hair, but who stupidly puts everyone right in the brown stuff.

The star of the film is the insanely attractive Fanny Valette, a woman who looks so beautiful she could only have been made in some secret Parisian bunker by scientists splicing the genes of Juliet Binoche and Emannuel Beart. She is a truly disconcerting screen presence, and her turn as Chloe is the glue which holds the film together.

The sub plot involving Loic, Chloe and Guillaume (Raphael Lenglet) drives the first part of the film and hints at endless possibilities, because there is genuine tension during this first section as the characters embark on their climb. As we get a close look at Loic’s character falling apart, we are treated to some stunningly nauseating views as the camera wildly pan’s into the glorious ravines of Risjnak National Park. The camera shakes and shudders its way from Loic’s face to his feet, encapsulating the huge expanses below, as Loic rapidly descends into horrible height sickness. At this point, High Lane is a stomach churning visual treat! Lots of interesting questions are asked; will Loic lose it completely and kill them all? Is Guillaume a secret psycho ala Billy Zane in Dead Calm? Will Fred’s hair cause him to lose his grip on the mountain? Or sanity?

Unfortunately, High Lane doesn’t go anywhere surprising at all, but it never loses sight of what it is, and the film offers a couple of moments in the final third which, if not really surprising, are at least mildly unexpected. That’s not a contradiction, it’s just that so many parts of High Lane are borrowed from other movies the film will actually keep you guessing as to which film will be borrowed from next. Think of it like a genre horror version of Date Movie or Scary Movie, where instead of scenes being spoofed for laughs they are being spoofed for scares.

The film is beautifully shot throughout; the climbing scenes at the beginning and the rope walkway set piece are glorious. And from the opening scenes in the car until the start of the climb, director Abel Ferry establishes all the individual characters and sub plots. This is no mean feat as the viewer is delivered wholesale into the first part of the film with characters established and ready to begin the journey. The set up really is nicely done and the tension during the first 45 minutes is ramped up to 11 with brilliant use of pacing and visuals, and some decent performances as well.


High Lane is well crafted but lacking substance, stylish but unoriginal. The pace is kept high and there are a decent scattering of jumps throughout the final third, but it’s letdown by genre-standard rehashing. SM

The Ape Review

REVIEW: DVD Release: The Ape



















 

 

 

Film: The Ape
Release date: 10th May 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 81 mins
Director: Jesper Ganslandt
Starring: Ollie Sarri, Francoise Joyce, Niclas Gillis
Genre: Drama/Thriller
Studio: ICA
Format: DVD
Country: Sweden

 

All things considered, The Ape is quite baffling – but only because we have become accustomed to dreadfully simplistic narratives and unrealistic dialogue. The Ape returns to a style of filmmaking that is out of favour currently.

Ollie Sarri is Kirster, a man who awakes confused and covered in blood. Sarri goes on to appear in every single frame of The Ape’s remaining 77 minutes, and starring alongside Sarri is an increasing sense of nausea, foreboding, pent up aggression, resignation and mental incapacity. Make no mistake, The Ape is a snapshot of a man losing (or already lost?) his grip on his marriage, his job, his sanity, and everything which connects him to his run of the mill existence…


This may at first glance appear familiar territory, The Ape is not the first film based upon the premise of following a character as they descend into a self-destructive hell. Where The Ape differs from most is that we are never shown the causes of Kirster’s distress, just as we are never shown any outrageous acts of violence. That isn’t to say the viewer doesn’t know exactly what has happened, of course, we do. The Ape never allows the viewer to sit back and comfortably sum up what is happening or has happened to Kirster because everything is only hinted at - it is entirely up to the viewers to cross the Ts and dot the Is. What we do get are glimpses of Kirster’s temper, or possible explanations for his obvious frustration, or hints at the possibility of violence that always seems to flicker behind his mournful, unblinking eyes.

The Ape is a complete success due in the main to fabulous direction and a possible career making performance. The direction is snappy without being fussy, and Jesper Ganslandt has placed his cameras right in front of the action. Not only is Ollie Sarri in every frame of the film, but at least half of the film seems to be shot close up to the actor's face. As the action unfolds, Kirster’s increasingly erratic behaviour is so unbelievably close to the screen that you can almost smell the manic fear and desperation.

There are so many standout scenes, and the tension is never allowed to drop for one second; watch in awe as Kirster explodes with pent up fury while instructing a learner driver. Feel queasy as a tennis practice match hints at the uncontrollable rage and longing which has built up inside this man in the midst of a break down. Three scenes, in particular, are so beautifully filmed and performed: a truly terrifying scene involving Kirster’s mother and a large kitchen knife will make anyone paying attention squirm; the scene toward the end of the film where Kirtser’s character bumps into an old friend is excruciatingly uncomfortable viewing, as we realize the character has now completely disconnected from reality and is unable to communicate in even the simplest of manners; and the final moments of the film are perfectly executed as the viewer is deliberately separated from Kirster, reflecting his own disconnection with the events around him.

The use of close up forces the viewer to share the anxiety of Kirster’s character, and coupled with the minimal dialogue, which is also almost entirely one-sided for the majority of the film, we not only see and feel everything Kirster is going through, we also share his emotions. The lack of music and the way the sound has been recorded places the viewer in the centre of Kirster’s world, and it is an unsettling experience.

Although not a true Dogme film, it shares many of the characteristics of Dogme, and is far more successful than even the much lauded Festen. The characters and settings are real, everything is entirely believable, and this snapshot of the violence and mania which can exist under the most normal of facades is a touch too close to reality. As Kirster’s mental capacity decays his ability to function normally also lessens, and the clever use of Kirster’s relationship with his mobile phone is a brilliant device, which illustrates the character's mindset perfectly. This truly is low-budget, minimalist cinema at it’s very best.

It is impossible to talk about The Ape without focusing on the performance of Ollie Sarri, displaying depth of emotion while maintaining an almost implacable expression. The pain, loss and desperation visible on Kirster’s blank face, the palpable sense of nausea and bewilderment, the sheer scale of his wrong doing are all on view, yet never once does the character become one dimensional. It would have been easy for Kirster to become an overwrought and overblown caricature, and in the hands of lesser actors that would have been the case. Sarri pulls off the seemingly impossible by never allowing Kirster to become a monster - he maintains the character as someone deserving of sympathy throughout.


The Ape is complex, emotive, expressive and arresting. It grabs your attention from the start and holds it unflinchingly until the final frame. It also leaves all the right questions unanswered. SM

The Machine Girl

Thursday, 13 May 2010

REVIEW: DVD Release: The Machine Girl

 





















 

 

 

Release date: 18th May 2009 (HMV Exclusive)
Certificate: 18
Running time: 97 mins
Director: Noburu Iguchi
Starring: Minase Yashiro, Asami, Kentarô Shimazu
Genre: Action/Comedy/Crime/Horror
Studio: Cine Asia
Format: DVD
Country: Japan

 

Since its release in 2008, The Machine Girl has gained a cult following across the globe, and it’s easy to see why. Anyone who has watched the brilliant trailer online will have either laughed out loud or been ashamed their eyes have born witness to something so ridiculous, but there is much more to this film than missing limbs, gore and deadly underwear.

When Ami’s (Minase Yashiro) brother Yu (Ryôsuke Kawamura) and his friend Tagashi are murdered by the school bully Sho (Nishihara), the scene is set for your fairly typical revenge story. Unfortunately for Ami, Sho is also the son of local yakuza boss, part-time ninja and full-time crackpot Ryuji Kimura (a marvellously deranged Kentarô Shimazu who resembles the more evil twin of Enter The Dragon’s Kien Shih).

Ami soon tracks down one of the members of Sho’s gang, and so begins a series of ever more outrageous confrontations. This first encounter ends in Ami’s hand being turned into the infamously daft looking piece of tempura as witnessed in the trailer. If only this was the worst thing that happens to her hand, but a later scene showing Ami’s arm being broken with a bat before her fingers are sliced off and her arm severed will make even those with the strongest of constitutions flinch.

Ami is not the kind of schoolgirl who will let a lost limb hold her back, so she teams up with Tagashi’s grieving parents Miki (Asami) and Suguru (Yûya Ishikawa) to plot their revenge on the Kimura gang and, thanks to Suguru’s engineering skills, Ami soon has some new weaponised arm attachments to help in the battle against the evil Kimura gang.

All roads lead to the final showdown and various ninjas, civilians possessed with the spirits of ninjas, and yakuza henchman are dispatched by Ami and Miki on the way to the pay off battle involving the now legendary ‘drill bra’, surely overtaking the dildo knife from Se7en as the most deadly underwear in the history of cinema…


The plot follows the standard for most revenge thrillers; the victim suffers a tragedy and sets out for revenge before suffering a huge setback, in this case is the loss of a limb. The hero then fights back and eventually reaches a showdown with the killers.

Writer/director Noburu Iguchi didn’t weigh himself down with plot – the film is about outrageous set pieces, tanker loads of blood, huge amounts of energy and some of the most imaginative use of prosthetics you are likely to see in your lifetime.

There are so many standout scenes in the film, the tempura hand for instance is hilarious and sets the tone for the film nicely. The torture scene involving Ami, Miki, a mallet, a Kimura henchman and a lot of nails is also brilliant, as is the moment the same henchman is accidentally shot in the head by one of his own. It is apparent everyone involved has bought into the cartoonish world created by director Iguchi, and it looks like all the actors, particularly scene stealer Hinoka, who plays insane sex-bomb Violet Kimura, are having a riot. Fingers and limbs are blown, chopped and shot off, and generally treated with utter contempt. What’s great about The Machine Girl is that by using prosthetics the makers have emphasised the cartoonish aspects of the violence without losing the heart and soul of what they are doing. These people really care.

Of course, at the end of the day we are talking about a kill-crazy, comedy gore-fest. The Machine Girl has absolutely nothing to say about anything, and there are no new plot ideas on show either. The acting is wildly unpredictable, and the dialogue is clunky and ridiculous - even for a comedy gore-fest!

Fans of this genre of Japanese film will recognise some familiar sub-plots; there is extreme violence happened upon and caused by schoolgirls, there is a hint at not one but two lesbian relationships, and most of the men in the film are generally pathetic. Stylistically there are some familiar friends as well; numerous camera angles shot through or up the main protagonist’s mini-skirt, plenty of ninja throwing stars, bucket load after bucket load of blood spraying everywhere - you will have seen this all before.

What sets The Machine Girl apart is the sheer brute force, style and energy on display in just about every scene. The viewer is aware that the villains are going to become ever weirder and extreme as Ami and Miki get closer to their goal, but the way in which the various deaths are executed on the journey has to be seen to be believed. The effects of some of the prosthetics are just glorious, so much more satisfying than CG ever could be. The story is ridiculous, but there are laughs aplenty and everyone is in on the joke.


The Machine Girl is not a great film, but it was never meant to be. It is an enjoyably silly romp filled with truly memorable scenes, and made by people who believe movies can be ridiculous and wholeheartedly entertaining. SM
 


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